bleeding blue and gold

i was born a charger fan. i believe i came out wearing a helmet with a lightening bolt on it. i am not a bandwagon fan. i can't deal with bandwagon fans. they annoy me. no, my friends, i am a true fan. football is my sport, and the chargers are my team. which is perhaps why my heart has been so broken this past week that i haven't even been able to blog about my pain. yes, my boys lost last weekend. even now, i can't believe it happened. i mean, hello, we were the best team in the nfl this season, and we didn't even make it to the afc championship game. and why did that happen? it was NOT bad coaching. bandwagon fans say crap like "oh, it was marty-ball". whatever. it was sloppy playing. unless it was marty who kept dropping well-thrown passes i really don't think you can blame him. but shoot, losing because of sloppy playing just blows. and i feel like the air was let out of the whole city. we're all just so crushed. i was in little italy having dinner on friday night and one of the buildings our table was facing still had it's charger blue and gold lights on. we looked at it, then looked at each other, and we were both just sad. everyone is sad. but one reason i love football is the old adage - any team can win on any given sunday. and if any team can win, any team can lose. which is fine, as long as my team wins and the other one loses. i cannot wait until next season. and i really truly hope the patriots lose today and that someone does the shawne merriman dance on tom brady's face.

what do you think of that? cause me, i've got nothing.

hmm...i just don't know. i was walking with my friend linsey the other day and she said "jules, these are interesting times." you can say that again. do you ever feel like you just don't know what to make of everything that is happening around you? i feel like that right now. nothing seems to make sense, so much is changing, the things that need to change aren't, and almost everyone feels unsettled, frustrated and confused. this thing called life is interesting indeed. when 2007 started one week ago i knew that a lot of things in my life were most likely going to be changing, but i'm noticing that a lot of things are changing for a whole lot of my friends. and those changes affect my changes. i know without a doubt that even if i stay in san diego, at the same church and in the same job, a year from now, those exact things will still look very different because of the changes happening around me. that is just...crazy. i feel like in different phases of life i appreciate different attributes of God. today, i appreciate His steadfastness. because even when my world is shifting and doesn't make sense, He remains the same. i am so thankful for that. SO thankful. especially because this week is a big week for both actual and potential changes, and if i didn't know that i had God to lean on, i would be...lost. so yeah, these are interesting times indeed. but God is holding me...holding us...as we walk through them. and He is teaching me so much. added bonus i suppose. when i walk out of the other side of this i will be different, hopefully. i mean, hopefully i will be changed for the better. because that's the point, isn't it? to learn from life what God wants you to learn, so you can continuously change who you are, and shed more of your humanness to become more like Christ. and i know i couldn't do that, or wouldn't do that, if everything was great and made sense and wasn't in complete upheaval. i just have to keep reminding myself of all of that right now because it's easy to just be over it, and want to walk away. and i do want to just forget about the hard stuff and peace out. but i can't just yet. so, with God's steadfast hand holding me, i'm hanging in there during these interesting times.