on snow-walks and dreaming big

well, it's december, which means that it is now officially allowed to be christmas-time. i would like to tell that to the retail establishments that have been celebrating for over a month already, but i know they won't listen to me. either way, here we are, ready to celebrate the holiday that is marked on television and in movies by cold weather and crazy things like snow. but growing up in san diego, i felt lucky if i got a few overcast days during the christmas season, showing that there was indeed something different about this particular month. but this morning i woke up and saw that not only was my car covered in snow, but so was my front yard, my house, everything. i've never had it snow on someplace that i was actually living before, and i have to say, it felt like a christmas miracle. ok, i know that you don't need snow in celebrate the birth of our Savior, and now as i type it, i realize that it feels semi-ridiculous to speak as if you do. so maybe it was more of a winter miracle, since this is my first real winter anyway. either way, i put on some layers and took a wonderful gilmore-girls-style snow walk. and i had a pretty fabulous time! during my snow walk i prayed and i dreamed. for this past week, i've been dreaming about where my new house will be, now that washington state is where i am a permanent resident. i have to live in snohomish, i just have to, redmond is too far from my ministry. and so i found this place, well my friend and i found it, but it seemed kinda like a long shot for me to be able to rent it. it's pretty much perfect, in terms of location and space, but the price was kinda high. it was close though. like thisclose. and so i've been praying all week that if that's where God wants me that it happens. and after my long walk/prayer session i found out that it just might work out after all. but like i was with my job when i first got it, i am being slightly cautious about being too excited just yet. until there are signed papers that indicate that i can move in, i'm still just praying and waiting. but also as with my job, if it does work out well, and is what i've been dreaming, hoping and praying for, then it will be clearly from God and by His power, because it is not something i could have done on my own. and so for the first time in a little while, i am starting to dream and pray big again. and i have to say, it feels pretty dang amazing.

thankful.

it has been quite a year. i keep thinking about where i was exactly a year ago, and i would have never thought that i would be where i am today. but despite the ridiculous ups and downs i have experienced, i have much to be thankful for, and this list, well, it's only the beginning. i couldn't possibly list it all.

God. grace. love. my family. having a job that i enjoy and am actually passionate about. roommates who can't fall asleep because they just keep laughing. rainy days. my car, which is still running even after many miles and a long road trip to its new home. new drivers licenses with decent pictures. fabulous haircuts by emili. my cell phone. long distance friends. hot showers, a roof over my head, food to eat, electricity and running water. having a relationship with my brothers. sweaters. new experiences. sunset cliffs. the beach. sunshine. flip flops. being only a plane ride away. having a chance to start over everyday. fun emails from friends. chocolate chip cookies. blankets. knowing and being known. mint chocolate chip ice cream. santanas burritos. watching football even when my team isn't doing very well. finding out what seasons are like. growing. having memories to hold onto when i'm lonely. laughter. each of my friends and the unique thing that they each bring to my life. frequent flier miles that make it possible to go home for christmas for next to nothing. holidays. workdays. life.

getting lost

well, all hope is gone for the blog a day thing. but considering how hard i am on myself when i fail at pretty much anything, i am surprisingly chipper. i guess the fact that i was even trying for it did in fact encourage me to blog on a more regular basis, and that is good enough for me. wow, maybe i'm growing. or maybe i'm too tired to care too much?

so, about that being tired thing...i am sick. not super sick, much better than last night, but sick nonetheless. a good night's sleep certainly seems to help with sickness, and i figure if only i can get a couple more of those, i will be good to go.

today it is raining, and it's actually making me very happy. and i seem to be getting better at finding my way around, which is so wonderful. it actually makes me feel pretty dang giddy, because the being lost all the time thing was getting super old. this weekend i am going to some new places, and it will be fun to find my way from one to the other. i think i should be able to do it, but we'll see. it seems that tuesday nights are my nights for getting lost. i don't know what it is about tuesday nights, but i always struggle! my goal for next week is for that to not be the case, but as of now, i have nothing new planned, so i may make my goal just because i am sticking with the familiar. next weekend is the big post-thanksgiving trip to portland for sharon and ryan's wedding, and i have a feeling that i will be lost at some point there, having never spent a good deal of time in portland. but as always, i'm pretty up for the adventure.

maybe i'm not so hot at this new post everyday thing

i have failed already! i have missed two days in a row of my first week of trying to post something everyday in november. oh well, i gave it a shot. i'll try to make it for the rest of the month, but i make no guarantees.

i am currently reading the book "sex god" by rob bell. it is brilliant, and yes, it is really about that. but it is about more than just that. it is also challenging on so many levels that i can't even describe, and would not really want to describe in a very public blog, because it's like heart stuff. but it is challenging, and it's also unearthing some stuff in me that i had not planned on exploring at this point in my life. but it's good...great actually. i am enjoying it quite a bit. i adore bell's writing style, it's simplistic yet jammed packed of these amazing thoughts that just rock me. so thanks to amy for sharing it with me...i am very grateful.

woo hoo - i'm a student again!

i can't believe that i am diving back into a world of required reading and writing papers and having to use like proper grammar and stuff, but it's true...i'm heading back to school. at least that's the plan. and i should know better than to plan...oh well. it looks like i'll be at fuller seminary starting in january. and strangely enough, i'm excited about it. i guess if there's one thing i know how to do, it's how to be a student. there's some sort of comfort zone thing in being in a classroom and studying and having no free time. plus, i am ready to learn again, and to be challenged academically. since i'm being challenged in every other area of my life anyway, i figured tacking school onto that was a good plan. plus, maybe i can meet more people and make more friends. who knows, either way, it's yet another new thing in my life. and it's very cool.

finding fun wherever you can

i have had an obsession with coffee shops for almost as long as i can remember. but living in san diego, there were few times that i actually felt justified spending a lot of time inside, drinking warm beverages, when it was so dang hot outside. that's not to say that i still didn't spend a whole lot of time in places like panera, even that very one that is smack dab in the middle of east county that katie was at today. but i have spent more time that i ever have before in coffee shops since i moved. a lot of the new places i have been visiting are kinda random establishments, complete with quirky art and furniture, and not one of them at all resembles the homogeneous starbucks world, and something about that actually makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. because even though i love that i know i can get my latte made perfectly every time i hit up a starbucks, i miss out on the ambiance that comes with these small establishments. i would have to say that discovering these new places to sit with a cup of coffee and my computer and work my little heart out has become one of the more fun things that i have been doing since i moved. even if it means that my wallet is maybe a little emptier than it was before.

my new obsession...

i have always had a deep, meaningful connection with technology. i happen to love it. i want to buy new pieces of technical wonderfulness, such as the newest ipod, a dvr, and a macbook pro. but i am not usually overly obsessed with the latest and greatest cell phones. i usually get whatever phone i can on verizon's new every two deal, and call it good. but since i moved, i have become unreasonably attached to my cell phone because it is one of my two links (the other being a computer) to my friends and family at home. i've even begun to toy with the idea of getting an iphone, mostly because i love all things apple and happen to think that their products are genious, and that phone looks amazing. but even if i keep getting base model cell phones with no frills, i am hopelessly in love with my current phone and my san diego area code. i am thankful to live in a time in which technology has advanced to the point that i can have a phone conversation anytime, anywhere, and i am currently completely ok with being that girl who is on the phone wandering the aisles of target aimlessly if it is the only time i can catch up with a friend. i figure heck, if the technology is there i might as well use it whenever i can. so here's to the brilliant minds behind the cell phone. you are so my new best friends.

and side note, super sad day for chargers fans everywhere. i love you boys, but if you play like that you'll never make it past first round of playoffs no matter who your coach is.

things i've realized since i moved...ok one thing, just because i need to write something today

i realized that since i have moved i have spent more time than i have ever spent in my life trying to figure out how many layers i can wear without looking like the michelin man, and less time than i have ever spent worrying about how freaking pale my skin is. interesting how priorities shift when you move to a different climate...

back by popular demand

it has been pointed out to me on more than one occasion this week that i am not blogging about my new adventures in the northwest as i had promised that i would. and being inspired by katie awesometroublshooter gardner and her "one blog post a day in the month of november" thing she is participating in, i thought that i would attempt to do the same. but it's the 2nd, not the first, and i didn't post anything yesterday, so i'm already a day behind. shoot! but oh well, here it goes anyway...

this week, on halloween in fact, i purchased my first ice scraper. i had to borrow one from one of the other cars at my house just so i could get to the gym that morning, and i decided that it would be something worth investing in. if its cold enough in october that i have ice on my windshield i can only imagine what in the world the winter months hold for me. so that was $3.49 well spent if you ask me. of course, i haven't needed it since then, but i will. and when i do, i'm ready.

i have successfully registered my car here in washington, but unfortunately, i still don't belong to this state. it is a whole lot harder to get a drivers license up here than i would have thought. you know, california seems to give a license to just about anyone, whether or not they are legally supposed to have one. does that make california the more Biblically correct state because of it's welcoming attitude? hmm...something to ponder.

and in other news, i am definitely enjoying my job, and having so much fun getting to know all the awesome students and volunteers at central. i can't wait until i feel like i actually know what i'm doing, or what i'm supposted to be doing. i know that will take time.

and now for the downer...i desperately miss my friends. i miss just doing fun stuff with people, like movie nights with adam, or getting chips and salsa with emili, or doing the coffee and a bagel after kickboxing thing with kat. and then there's mojitos with angela and katie, disney with sam, yogurt express with mia, and so much more. i miss my people, the people who walked through this last season of life with me, and actually get stuff without having to have me explain what happened previously or a backstory or anything. it was good to know and to be known. and it took a long time to get there. i'm not a patient person so i don't want to wait through all of that again. and honestly, it's hard to lose all of that closeness with the people i care about. because long distance friendships are so not the same. even if you're close, it's different, and there is a lot that you miss when you're not there in the day-to-day. i don't want to miss that with them. but if i am where i am supposed to be, and i truly feel that i am, then i need to hang in there, and rely on God, and learn to be patient, and to be proactive in making new friendships. ahh...so much to learn!!!!

alright, so this extra long post should make up for missing yesterday. i will make my valient attempt to write some fun ancedote once a day this month. and if i miss a day, please extend more grace to me than i did to katie last year :)

so it's cold here. still having fun though.

oh my, it's cold. like crazy cold, for the southern california native that i am. it's actually only 53 according to weather.com, but tomorrow the overnight low should get down into the 40's. brrr... but it's alright. i mean, here i am, living in washington. i pretty much feel like i'm on vacation, except my car is here, and all of my clothes, and i don't have that plane ticket that signifies that the end of vacation is approaching. it's going to take some getting used to. but i've been having a great time. i'm a little on the bored side, but that won't last long. and now that i am the owner of the ever important thomas bros. map of king and snohomish counties, i should find that i'm not getting lost anymore. yah! tomorrow is a full day at church day of craziness, which i am looking forward to, and on monday i have plans to change my car registration and my drivers license to washington state. that should make it feel more official, right? all i know is what i've been saying for months...these are crazy times. hard times, good times, fin times, and unexpected times. and seriously crazy.

and i have still not yet watched this week's episode of grey's anatomy! what in the world??? i think i might have to go do that right now...

contemplating community

oh my, it feels good to have a moment to write. things have been slightly crazy. but i get really bored really fast, so it's better that way for me.

i've been thinking a lot about community. i am part of a great community right now. i pretty much have some of the most amazing friends and i feel just so incredibly blessed to think about them being a part of my life! but the thing is, when i walked in the door at flood over 5 (wow 5!) years ago, i didn't know any of these people. and i didn't have a group of friends that was coming with me to flood, heck once my only flood-convert friend moved i was completely solo, but i put myself out there, and i got to know people, and yeah, it took time, but i did it. and here i am, years later, and i have authentic community. and now, i'm moving. in fact, i am moving pretty dang far from these amazing people. but while i may not know where i'm going to live, or where i'm going to work, and i have no idea where i will find community, i know that i will find it. i have more peace about that then any of the other stuff. i think that's because i know myself well enough to know that i just can't function in a healthy way without good friends. if i learned one thing at flood (and let's be real, i learned a lot!) i learned that our relationship with God just doesn't grow the same way without community. and there are multiple reasons why that's true and how i've seen that evidenced in my life, but one thing's for sure, i'm pretty determined to find a community of more super awesome people who are my age and love God and want to live life together. i'm already praying for my new friends, these people whose lives will shape mine. and i have this feeling that community won't come easy, but maybe that will make me appreciate it more. and in some strange way, it makes me pretty dang excited about what lies ahead.

lovely

i am coming to the end of a 4 day weekend, which was simply wonderful. it started with noel and melissa's wedding, which was absolutely great. pictures of that will be coming. and then i was able to spend most of the next three days in coronado, sometimes alone, sometimes with girlfriends, girls who enjoy a wide range of movies from blood diamond to jackass (girls after my own heart!), laying on the beach, walking around, reading, discovering the tortilla lady, drinking coffee, eating so much good food, and laughing alot. ah, the girls of summer! with additional good things like church and breakfast with melissa woodruff somewhere in there, i can say that memorial day weekend was fabulous. and then i capped off this weekend with an unexpected visit from adam who came bearing a chai latte, and plans for a trip to hawaii...man i hope that works out. but either way, life does not get much better.

eric, nick, luke and spence...thanks for the memories

i have already had a soda and two cups of coffee and i'm just about to start on another diet coke and it's just 9am. yes my friends, i am that tired. last night i stayed at church until midnight - brilliant since i get up for work at 5am. but i had to say goodbye to my good friends, future of forestry, before they headed out into the world of full time touring and doing that rock band thing. i'm so proud of them and who they are, where they've come from, and where they're going. but last night as i was sitting listening to eric's voice leading out and the church singing along for the last time, i was so dang sad. i tried to make it a memory, to capture it and lock it away so i wouldn't ever forget it. but i know that i'll never hear 'oceans' again. they wrote that for us and they won't record it. we won't be dancing to 'palibe' on easter or making faces at luke so he laughs and then has to turn around so no one can see that the bass player is cracking up at girls making the weird faces in the third row. nick won't be there looking like he's intently worshipping in some weird way when it's actually that he's playing his theramin. there won't be any more frozen over snowboarding adventures with spence, or laughing with the small asian man with blond hair riding a horse at crew retreat. i am so thankful for those memories though! and i am so thankful that these great guys are not just my worship leaders, but rather my friends. and i'll be seeing them all again soon enough. at the very least, luke is stuck with me since he and kat live within walking distance. but still, last night was the end of an era, and i'm sad to see this change happen. change is often less than fun, and this is no different.
and so, luke, nick, eric and spence, thanks for your friendship, your worship leading skills, for helping to make flood what it is, and for 5 years of living life together. it's been SO great and you guys are SO awesome. but if you think i'm going to start paying to see you guys now, think again. but i will totally help sell merch anytime you need it. :)

most.depressing.day.ever.

the last football game of the year is on right now. once the pro bowl is over the season will be over and it will be six months until i see the chargers play again. it's like the saddest day of the year. seriously.

bleeding blue and gold

i was born a charger fan. i believe i came out wearing a helmet with a lightening bolt on it. i am not a bandwagon fan. i can't deal with bandwagon fans. they annoy me. no, my friends, i am a true fan. football is my sport, and the chargers are my team. which is perhaps why my heart has been so broken this past week that i haven't even been able to blog about my pain. yes, my boys lost last weekend. even now, i can't believe it happened. i mean, hello, we were the best team in the nfl this season, and we didn't even make it to the afc championship game. and why did that happen? it was NOT bad coaching. bandwagon fans say crap like "oh, it was marty-ball". whatever. it was sloppy playing. unless it was marty who kept dropping well-thrown passes i really don't think you can blame him. but shoot, losing because of sloppy playing just blows. and i feel like the air was let out of the whole city. we're all just so crushed. i was in little italy having dinner on friday night and one of the buildings our table was facing still had it's charger blue and gold lights on. we looked at it, then looked at each other, and we were both just sad. everyone is sad. but one reason i love football is the old adage - any team can win on any given sunday. and if any team can win, any team can lose. which is fine, as long as my team wins and the other one loses. i cannot wait until next season. and i really truly hope the patriots lose today and that someone does the shawne merriman dance on tom brady's face.

what do you think of that? cause me, i've got nothing.

hmm...i just don't know. i was walking with my friend linsey the other day and she said "jules, these are interesting times." you can say that again. do you ever feel like you just don't know what to make of everything that is happening around you? i feel like that right now. nothing seems to make sense, so much is changing, the things that need to change aren't, and almost everyone feels unsettled, frustrated and confused. this thing called life is interesting indeed. when 2007 started one week ago i knew that a lot of things in my life were most likely going to be changing, but i'm noticing that a lot of things are changing for a whole lot of my friends. and those changes affect my changes. i know without a doubt that even if i stay in san diego, at the same church and in the same job, a year from now, those exact things will still look very different because of the changes happening around me. that is just...crazy. i feel like in different phases of life i appreciate different attributes of God. today, i appreciate His steadfastness. because even when my world is shifting and doesn't make sense, He remains the same. i am so thankful for that. SO thankful. especially because this week is a big week for both actual and potential changes, and if i didn't know that i had God to lean on, i would be...lost. so yeah, these are interesting times indeed. but God is holding me...holding us...as we walk through them. and He is teaching me so much. added bonus i suppose. when i walk out of the other side of this i will be different, hopefully. i mean, hopefully i will be changed for the better. because that's the point, isn't it? to learn from life what God wants you to learn, so you can continuously change who you are, and shed more of your humanness to become more like Christ. and i know i couldn't do that, or wouldn't do that, if everything was great and made sense and wasn't in complete upheaval. i just have to keep reminding myself of all of that right now because it's easy to just be over it, and want to walk away. and i do want to just forget about the hard stuff and peace out. but i can't just yet. so, with God's steadfast hand holding me, i'm hanging in there during these interesting times.